Leadership is hard. Some days bring great reward; others stretch you beyond what you thought were your limits. And sometimes, leadership helps you discover more about yourself than you expected.

As a leader, I have been stretched in ways I never anticipated. At times, I get so wrapped up in my own challenges and work that I forget everyone around me is carrying their own mix of joys, hardships, and successes.

As leaders, we are called to be steady when times are tough and a compass when change feels overwhelming. Yet those around us can forget that we, too, are navigating the journey. Behind every decision and every act of support, there is a human being.

When things get rough, perfection often feels expected. But that’s not realistic. People make mistakes, especially when they’re overwhelmed, uncertain, or facing uncharted territory. We all stumble, even on our good days.

So how do we, as leaders, support our districts and teams during times of change or crisis? How do we balance the need for change while realizing that our teams are made up of people?

The answer is grace.

Grace for your team as they strive to support learning in new ways. Grace for those who give more than they thought they could, and for those who feel guilty that they can’t do enough. Grace for colleagues navigating a path that may feel like it constantly shifts beneath their feet.

Grace for administrators tasked with making decisions that carry tremendous weight, knowing some will disagree no matter the choice. Grace for staff working to serve every student.

Grace for teachers learning new tools and strategies at a relentless pace. Grace for those who stay up at night worrying about students they can’t seem to reach. Grace for those who want desperately to do their best but are stretched thin.

Grace for every individual balancing life outside of work. Grace for those who quietly persevere through personal struggles while still showing up each day.

And most importantly – grace for yourself.

Grace for the leader who wears so many hats and still tries to hold everything together. Grace for the person who sacrifices personal time for students’ success. Grace as you try to take it all on and be wildly successful. Grace for yourself when you stumble, when plans change, or when you feel like you just can’t go any further.

We often hold ourselves to impossible standards. We absorb criticism, carry others’ struggles as our own, and take on the mission of making everything work. We are leaders, and we care deeply.

But, at what cost? 

It doesn’t matter how much we care if we have nothing left to give. We must focus on our own personal well-being before we can take care of others. There is a reason flight attendants say: in the event of a crisis, put on your mask first before helping others. We must first give ourselves grace before we can extend it to others. We must first allow ourselves to feel and react and fail and be ok with where we are at and where we are going. We must accept ourselves as imperfect before we can be the leaders our team and students need us to be.

It doesn’t matter how much we care if we have nothing left to give. Just as flight attendants remind us to put on our own mask before helping others, we must first give ourselves grace before we can extend it to others. We must accept ourselves as imperfect before we can be the leaders our team and students need us to be.

So give yourself permission to pause. Step away for a lunch that’s truly a break. Take a day off. Enjoy a carefree evening with family. It may feel counterintuitive, but it’s the best leadership advice I’ve ever received: when the stress is greatest, step back, regroup, and return refreshed.

Because in the end, to lead well — we’ve gotta have grace.
Grace for others.
Grace for ourselves.
Grace to keep leading forward.